The International Dada Centennial Committee has a new chapter in Menominee Falls, Wisconsin. Actually, it is the first chapter. I did not know we were going to have chapters until now. A Teri Gagliano and Anita Bitterman asked if they could start a chapter and I was, like, whatever, start a chapter, a page, a paragraph, nome sane? I told them that membership in the IDCC was free and open to anyone, even their cat, except if they wanted my autograph, which costs four bucks. Teri said they were backup singers in an all-girl punk band called Cindy and the Pop Tops, high school seniors, anarchists, and had no cats, only one very large dog and two tarantulas. As Cultural Terrorist has a terrible fear of spiders and another terrible fear of revealing this to any female person to whom he wishes to appear as an imperturbable rock of emotional fortitude, I replied, "Cool!"

"Hey listen, we are in the market for a husband," said a different voice, which I assume to be Anita Bitterman.

"How many husbands?" I naively asked.

"One."

"One for which one of you?"

"One for all of us."

"One for all of you...any specifications?"

"Yeah," said Teri, "He needs to be easy to control, willing to learn to play the drums, totally like committed to giving us everything we want and, um, he also needs to be reasonably cute."

I decided that I did not want to go there, lest I jokingly volunteer for the job and find the predator catchers on my doorstep the next day. So I just told them I would be on the lookout for prospects and politely bid them adieu.

Another new member of note is Max Schwartz of Queens, New York. Max is an artist whose day job is selling low-water flush toilets. It is part of his pitch that he offers to haul the old high-water toilet away for no extra charge and has ended up with what is perhaps the world's largest collection of used flush toilets, which he can not bear to discard because they are "so beautiful." He had always thought that Marcel Duchamps made an error in making a sculpture out of a urinal. He believes Duchamps should have used a high water flush toilet instead because high water flush toilets should all be made into art, not just one urinal, because highwater flush toilets negatively impact the environment by making people all over the world waste water, causing drought, famine, sickness and painful, slow death to millions of hapless poor people in the Third World.

I pointed out that Marcel Duchamps made his famous urinal sculpture back in 1916, when there was no such thing as the Third World because there was no such thing as the Second World which was the Soviet Union which did not come into existence until a year later, and since there was no such thing as the Second World, there was, in effect, no such thing as the First World either because who would call it a First World if they did not know that a Second and Third World were on the way? I had unfortunately just drunk a double espresso and my tongue was wagging excessively at the poor guy.

"I'm sorry for being obnoxious," I said, "It's too much coffee."

"You don't know from obnoxious until you hear my parents having a friendly discussion. By way, did you know about the Fourth World?"

"No. I'm all ears."

"Well, it's right there in your blog post about the future History of Dada. The Fourth World is when the artists are the most highly evolved life form on Earth and control all the non-artists like a herd of highly productive domesticated beasts. Thanks for the idea. I'm working on bringing on the Fourth World right away."

"How do you plan to do this? By having lots of children and brain washing them? I might want to get you in touch with a bunch of girls in Menominee..."

He hung up the phone and did not give me his number. I hope I have not created a monster. Besides, I would have traded him a free autograph for a picture of his world's largest collection of high-water flush toilets.